How dare the bitch leave me!
Pro wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, embroiled in a bitter divorce with his wife, Linda, told Rolling Stone magazine he can “totally understand” O.J. Simpson, the former football great found liable for the deaths of his wife and another man.
“I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat,” Hogan said in the interview for a feature that will run in Friday’s edition of the magazine.
“You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife… . “I totally understand O.J. I get it,” Hogan said.
Note the possessive pronouns: it’s HIS stuff, goddammit, and HIS possessions include HIS wife. Nothing belongs to her, of course. Not even her own body. HE will decide who she can sleep with, and if it’s not him, it’s nobody.
This is exactly the kind of thing that leads to this. Or this. Or this. Or this. Or this.
Fortunately, Linda Hogan and her attorney realize this, because she’s putting it out there:
A spokesman for Linda Hogan said Wednesday that the statement amounts to a death threat and that her attorney is “weighing all options necessary to protect his client.”
“Sadly, his recent comments remind us that his definition of fair is much different than what the law dictates,” Linda Hogan said in a written statement.
Her spokesman, Gary Smith, linked the comments to the 55-year-old Hogan’s three-decade career, during which he held multiple championship titles and, during his heyday in the 1980s, was easily the most popular wrestler in the world.
“We have always maintained that the fear that Linda has had to live with comes from the rage and instability much too often associated with pro wrestlers,” Smith said in the statement.
Though I definitely take issue with the idea that this is something limited to pro wrestlers. Sure, there have been some high-profile cases of pro wrestlers killing their families and themselves in rages, but what really fuels these guys is a frustrated sense of entitlement. There’s a reason that women are most in danger of being killed *after* they leave their abusive husbands or boyfriends. There’s a reason that MRAs are so obsessed with keeping control of their wives even after the divorce, through use of the courts or playing games with child support. There’s a reason that MRAs are so obsessed with bitches “getting themselves pregnant” just to trap them and take their money.
And there’s a reason a guy I met through OK Cupid last week (and I think the issue there is the free nature of the site attracting the freaks, not any sort of personal tear in the space-time continuum that keeps feeding me these jokers) went off on a long, angry screed about two women with whom he’d been on dates who’d committed the mortal sin of not reaching for their wallets on the first date when the lunch check came — to the point where he bailed on the second one in the middle of the date, called her from Starbucks to tell her she was old enough to pay for her own fucking lunch, and then passed the phone to some strange man (for some bros-before-hos support, I suppose) when she started yelling at him for being an asshole.
I failed to find this amusing, and told him so. And for pointing out that at age 41, he should really learn how to negotiate the lunch check in a civilized manner if he wants to go Dutch treat instead of running out the back door and then enlisting strangers in his efforts to avoid the consequences of such behavior, I got the following from him: “No bitch tells me to buy her lunch.”
When I responded that I considered bullet dodged, thanks much and happy hunting, he emailed back, “blow me.”
“Not,” I replied, “if your dick were made of chocolate.”
Zero to “blow me” took about four emails. If he ever manages to marry anyone, he will undoubtedly wind up in divorce court singing the same sort of tune as Hulk Hogan.
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